Not Heidi
Not Heidi's JournalFishkeepers, I need your help.
I have a 15 gallon Fluval aquarium. It's been running for about a year. I've wanted to plant it, but not knowing how, I waited. About three weeks ago I bought the plants and put them into the aquarium.
Within a week, the two tall ones (don't know their name) began flagging. They grew weak, and slowly turned brown. Within a few more days, they were completely brown and had wound up flat on the gravel, waving a bit with the current. I took them out. I'm very sad.
The other plants seem hardier, but most leaves have small brown sections on them.
Why have I become a plant killer? I'll appreciate any advice you can give.
Dead grass question
We rent our house. The lawns, front and back, are brown. Is it possible to revive this grass, either by watering religiously or by seeding it? Are there any remedies that cost from nothing to not a lot?
1. I'm ignorant.
2. I'd like not to have to tell the landlord that his grass is dead.
3. In no way can we afford sod.
Is there any other place on DU I should post this?
Thank you.
my sister's eldest child
My wife and I share a home with one of my sisters and her 37-year-old child, who was born female. To protect them, I'm using the gender-neutral name of Robin for this post.
I don't know what kind of disability/disabilities keep Robin from ⁿworking (they've never worked a day), from being around groups of people, etc. One of their chores is to take out the bins on collection day -- they take them out and bring them back in at about 3:00 am so as not to be seen by the neighbors. I put my hand on their shoulder in the kitchen on Friday (their birthday) and told them that I love them. They said, "Don't touch me." If they'd ever told me this rule, I'd forgotten it.
But I digress. This thread isn't intended just to offer a trait rundown that would belong in one of the support fora.
Robin wanted delivery from Panda Express for their birthday dinner. This is how they marked their container of leftovers for the fridge:
https://imgur.com/a/xsEEXO7 *
That surprised me. It's not that I don't support them; they have my whole-hearted love and support. My own dilemma is minor, considering all that Robin feels and experiences. I just don't know by what name to call them. Their birth name is decidedly feminine; they changed it to a similarly feminine name when they turned 18.
Do I call them "niece," which I have done most of their life? (Ex.: Hey, Niece, how's your day going?) Do I ask if they've chosen a masculine name, and would they be happy with being known by that name?
I think I need to ask them by what name they'd like to be addressed. I don't know how to address them.
Has anyone else encountered a family member such as Robin, whose gender identity is opposite the one they were born with?
Thank you for your input.
* I don't know what happened; I expected the photo to appear here. I don't know what I did that's amiss.
Jesus: " . . . I will in no wise cast out." Really?
You might find this to be TL;DR.
I wanted to answer someone who posted a Christian salvation message, altar-call style, on Facebook. He wrapped it up with this:
John 6:37:
"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." (KJV)
My life's experience proves that this is out and out bullshit.
When you've been saved as a child, and as a young adult you've become agnostic but still want to believe, and you want to sing, you sing in a church choir.
I made a friend in that choir. I felt close to her - not super close, but I trusted her. She seemed true. One day we were having coffee and in one of the most regrettable whims of my life, I came out to her. I felt no fear.
After our next rehearsal, the director caught my eye and waved me over. He told me that it had come to his attention that I was a homosexual. As such, he said, he knew that my claim to worship, as a member of this choir, was false. He dismissed me from the choir.
Having been rejected by a representative of Christ (as I saw the director), I left that church flat. I never went back.
So what's this bullshit about "him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out"? If this god knew my heart, he knew I was a true believer - questioning but studying, listening in church, contributing my thoughts in bible study - he would've known that singing in the church choir was an act of sincerity.
So why did he in fact cast me out via his representative?
This has been bugging me for months. I usually manage not to go off like this when I read altar call sermons on FB. This one is different - probably because my experience contradicts Christ's words. I will always hold my life's experience over words written eons ago, based on tales told over and over and coming through to future generations as clearly as a game of telephone.
My neighbor hung two flags.
My neighbor hung two flags from the corner of his roof. His house is on a busy main street, removed by just an island, so those driving by can see his flags easily.
One is the predictable Trump flag with the MAGAt slogan.
The other is solid black with this image in white: the silhouette of what looks to my untrained eye to be an assault rifle. Below that firearm are the words, "COME AND TAKE IT."
We don't need such provocation in this country. I am tempted to knock on his door and ask why he would provoke his fellow citizens like this - but I don't want to be a statistic.
Would you visit his home? If so, what would you say?
Voice lessons going well, but . . . being flat SUCKS
I started voice lessons in September because I want to audition for a particular chorus. My teacher/coach, Erik, is amazing. We've known each other since we sang together in another chorus in the '90s. When he heard (saw my Facebook post) that I wanted to take voice lessons, he offered his services at no cost. I'm telling you, he is a god.
Erik says that in the two months we've been working together, my voice and skill have grown better and stronger. But I have a problem that we've only begun to address today.
I'm preparing three songs from which to choose for my audition: America the Beautiful, I Wish I Knew (Carole King), and Make Someone Happy (from Broadway musical Do Re Mi).
In "Happy," I keep going flat (I'm singing a cappella). I'm aware but I can't tell where I begin to lose the pitch. Even though Erik points it out to me and gives me ideas of how to stay on pitch, I've still lost it by the time I reach a certain phrase.
America and I Wish I Knew are fine, maybe because I've known them forever. I'd never heard "Happy" until Erik suggested it as a possible audition song. It fits perfectly in my range and, except for where I go flat, I sound good with it.
Are there any voice coaches out there?
Please help me to make mild chili from this recipe
Hiya. I don't cook much, but when I get a recipe I'd like to make, I must make it - and soon. I want to make this one before Thanksgiving.
Meet the Chili Lovers - my family, comprising four adults: my sister, Fish; her non-binary daughter (who has no nickname); my wife, the Tough Ol' Mountain Woman (MW); and yours truly, Bertha. Our household is The Aunthill of Fountain Valley. 
Fish and I don't do well with spicy foods. I know it's possible to make very tasty Mexican dishes without the heat, and that's what I need. It has to be quite mild, as mild as you experts can help me to get it without ruining the flavor. Also, the narrative that accompanies the recipe explains that chipotle chili is added for "a smokey dimension to the chili, enhancing all of the other flavors." I don't like smoky flavoring, but please, tell me your opinions.
Chili con Carne
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 teaspoon chipotle chili powder
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons ground oregano
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
3 to 4 tablespoons water
4 strips bacon
2 1/2 pounds chuck roast, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
Kosher salt
1 medium white onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 jalapeño chili peppers, seeded, ribs
removed, minced
1 (14-ounce) can whole tomatoes
2 1/2 cups water
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime
juice
1 teaspoon sugar
1 (14-ounce) can kidney beans, drained
1 teaspoon cornstarch, dissolved in a
couple of tablespoons of water
Kosher salt
Grated cheddar cheese, garnish
Red onion, garnish
* Make the chili paste:
In a small bowl mix the chili powder, chipotle chili powder, ground cumin, oregano, thyme, and ground coriander seeds. Mix in water so that chili forms a light paste. Set aside.
* Cook the bacon
* Brown the beef chunks in bacon fat
* Cook the onions
* Combine the chili ingredients in a big
pot, simmer, then cook slowly
* Thicken with cornstarch
* Add the kidney beans
* Add toppings to serve
I imagine that the only place to reduce the heat is in step one. Am I wrong?
What are your thoughts on pinto beans vs kidney beans? I like pintos a lot more than kidneys, and I plan to use them when I make this - unless I hear some good arguments for kidneys. MW likes kidney beans, but I've been eating kidney beans for 24 years, and it's her turn to compromise.
Thanks for your help, friends!
And, hey: if you've got what you think is a better recipe, lay it on me. 😃
Can someone help me list a few lies Trump told during the campaign?
I'm going back and forth with someone on Facebook who refuses to believe Trump lied about anything during the campaign. I know he did, but I can't think of a single lie. Help, please? Thanks.
Severe Pain and Snafu.
My wife suffers with chronic debilitating pain. She received the diagnosis of degenerative disk disease in 2004. It's worst in her lower back and her neck, but her spine is shot through with the disease.
Alice (not really her name) had her monthly pain doctor appointment today. Everyone she sees at this clinic - one of the two doctors or the nurse practitioner - is compassionate, thorough, and, obviously, dedicated to FDA law. (Re: the latter, Alice wouldn't have it any other way.)
Hours after Alice's appt, the rx isn't ready. I called the pharmacy half an hour ago to inquire about the holdup: the pharmacy's app states "Delayed - Reviewing Prescription." I spoke with the pharmacist. The reason for the delay is twofold: The first reason: Since Alice is a new patient to this pharmacy (we recently switched pharmacies), they must collect her records from the clinic so they have proof that they filled the rx legitimately. The second reason: They're out of the drug, and won't have it in stock until Monday.
My task for tomorrow is to call the clinic to ask them, please, to pull the rx from the new pharmacy and send it to our old pharmacy.
Alice has but two pills left. Don't judge. She was delayed in getting an earlier appt. That's what has her down to her last two pills - she's really had to stretch out her rx. So tonight before bed, she takes one, and she takes the other in the morning. We cross our fingers and toes, that the old pharmacy is on the ball for once and gets it done quickly.
Thank you for listening to my rant. Comments are welcome.
Also, in case you're wondering, SNAFU is indeed an acronym:
Situation
Normal:
All
Fucked
Up.
I sing. I'm studying and getting pretty good.
I intend to audition for the Orange County (CA) Women's Chorus. I'm working with a coach, who is tremendous. Very good at what he does. Besides voice, he's also teaching me solfege*, to read music, to master rhythm, and more.
I have a serious problem, though. I can't get through my chosen audition song without tearing up. I hate it, but I'd hate it worse if it happened in my audition.
Does anyone have any ideas as to how to handle this? I don't know when my audition will be, but suspect early- to mid-2025.
Thanks for whatever advice, or even just comments you have.
*The key is to watch the hell out of The Sound of Music (doe, a deer . . .). 😉
Profile Information
Name: K.J. HeidebrechtGender: Female
Hometown: Huntington Beach, CA
Home country: United States
Current location: Fountain Valley, CA
Member since: Wed Jun 19, 2019, 02:15 PM
Number of posts: 1,470